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Please help me to understand men

DH has been very depressed the past few days. You know i mentioned the bank mistake last month? It is even worse than I thought but it is okay- DH tells me we need almost $1200 to pay the rest of the bills and it is his short pay period and in addition to that work took his loan payment from that check- this is why he is so upset. He doesn’t feel like a man or like a good provider. Believe me that is the farthest thing from the truth! I am thankful that I could finally get him to talk to me about it.

It took a lot to get him to relax enough to discuss it. To top it off good friend died last weekend and he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to drag me down. He is accustomed to have several $1000 dollars in the bank but problems (including a $1000 error on the bank act) depleted it to less than $500 and his check will be about $500. We also took fast $1000 loan here and I told him it was okay- my child support check comes any day and will cover the rest but he said it isn’t the same- he should have provided it.

I don’t see the difference in him using the money now for bills or waiting for me to use it later on food, clothing and such. but it has something to do with his maleness. He said he will get a loan to cover the rest of it- it defies my logic when it isn’t needed (more loans more debt). I do understand that the male pride deal is there and I am thankful he feels so strongly about supporting us- he said he isn’t much of a man because real men support their family.

I am not allowed to work more than a scant amount- it was a part of the adoption agreement and that is why we get adoption (child) support. He keeps insisting it’s my money to spend and not for him to use on the house. He also says the money he earns is for me to spend as well and I do! It frustrates me to no end. When he got to work today he learned that another good friend was taken to the hospital with a major blood clot in his brain and was flown to Seattle to Harborview Medical Center and is in bad shape. Too much too close together.

Happy and Poor

Halfway home, while I was *trying* valiantly NOT to just burst into semi-hysterical giggles, DH says, “Well, now I *really* feel low-income…I’m driving an Isuzu Pup with 2 seatbelts, a floor full of WIC and day old bread stuff, AND you’re pregant!!” I just lost it…haven’t laughed so hard in ages. And I didn’t tell him that the plates were expired on the truck! LOLOL

And they say the poor don’t ever have any fun, LOL! Truthfully, though, it’s good you have those hormones to help you through. Nothing bothered me with my first pregnancy; and I’d get hysterically silly over nothing, either. I just wish the second time around had been the same. Anyway, throughout the whole pregnancy, I went around singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!” My husband despises that song to this day, thanks to the great efforts I made to sing it to him every chance I could:)

I decided a long time ago that it’s more fun to be insane than to be depressed. Don’t you just wish you had that picture of your Kodak moment?

I miss the first Christmas tree I ever had. I’m laughing hysterically now. It was an artificial tree not even 3 foot tall. It meant the world to us, though. I look back at that memory every time and laugh. I miss it, too. I have a lot of good honeymoon memories to go along with that tree.

Condolences to hubby, though, because I’m sure he’s out in left field trying to understand you:) And, you sure cheered me up. I was feeling kind of “poor” myself. Thanks for sharing the experience.

Take care and KEEP LAUGHING!

Yet another frugal wedding

Our wedding was also frugal. We wanted to build a future and not waste money- even then. My Aunt was a wedding gown seamstress and she made my gown she would have charged $1000 but it was a gift from her. She was a well known seamstress from Arizona and flew up to finish it. Her sister came and she and mom dod all the and bead work on the dress and she also did the silk flowers.

Her husband and daughter sang and they paid the organist and also for some of the fresh flowers and all the silk ones as a wedding gift. Mom, my brother Dh and I bought the supplies for the food portion and SIl and MIL made the cake and the food from a restaurant supply place alond with napkins etc.. SIL is a chef. We paid SIL $100 for her help. She and 2 friends (also chefs) catered it and the friends offered their services for free. Photos were taken by a friend who was a professional photographer. She charged us $100 and that included all the negatives. We were married in a long log cabin, Pioneer Hall. Rent was $100.

My sisters and niece were my attendants and they paid for their dresses- I let them choose and they volunteered to pay. DH wore a white tux and he and his friends rented them. Dh had to returne early to be a witnes at a trial so our Honeymoon was short and sweet- we took a ferry across the sound and went to an historic town, Port Townsend and stayed in a B & B then another ferry to Victoria, British Columbia and stayed in a cheap motel. A few months later we took a 2 week trip to the grand Canyon to relax and enjoy ourselves. Except for a couple nights in a cabin there (north rim) we slept in the back of our truck and canopy! I wouldn’t do that today though. The money gifts we were given were used buying fruit trees and we are still enjoying their bounty. Thanks for joining me along memory.